If you are a familiar reader here on the blog, you remember my post about Changing with the Seasons. If not, you can read it here. A quick summary is…basically everything in my life is BRAND SPANKIN’ NEW. I am a newly wed, living in a new town, in a new house, new church, after getting married I became youth pastor’s wife for the first time, new internship, and new new new! After posting my first blog, Brad ended up getting moved campuses for his athletic coordinating/coaching/teaching job…so guess what? MORE NEW! I talked about how just like the Autumn leaves, we as humans are going to go through change. BUT that we can be confident that our change is for a purpose, either to grow us or to show us. Again, you can read more in my previous post.
This post is a sequel to Changing with the Seasons. This is something I was asked to write about and had no idea how I would approach the topic. I pondered it for a couple weeks and decided I wanted to give it a shot! So, here it is! The topic of this blog is about being the “new kid on the block.” It’s about being in a new place, starting over, and making new friends. I am hoping that I can shed some light on how HARD it really is, but also provide some encouragement that YOU CAN DO IT!! Let’s jump in!
As I mentioned earlier, everything in my life is new. It’s been extremely hard for me to adjust. I am a PEOPLE PERSON to the core of my being. I need people to function well. I need quality time. I need intentional friendships. BUT that’s hard to have when you’re the new kid because those things take work and time. I am having to learn how to make a good first impression over…and over…and over again…and for every single aspect of my life. (This could be a pressure I’m putting on myself, but still..) I am literally having to start over at a new church, with a new youth group, a new town, and a new job. I am having to figure everything out all over again.
As exhausting as it is to start over, sometimes it’s necessary. It’s easy to get stuck in who we have created ourselves to be once we get comfortable. This season is already teaching me the importance of embracing the new in our lives and how it helps us continue to create ourselves. It allows us to try new things to continue to get down to the roots of who we really are and who we want to be. It’s easy when you’ve grown up in the same place your whole life to be who you’ve always been, never try anything new, and stay close to the same people forever. I am actually very thankful for this opportunity to branch out of my comfort zone. I have hung out with people I probably wouldn’t have before, experienced a new culture coming from a very liberal city to the one I’m in now, that is home to a Christian college, and have had to force myself to reach out to places and people I might not have before. It’s terrifying at times, but it’s really challenging me to not stay in my own little box.
The one thing that has been more difficult that I mentioned earlier is the fact that I’m having to prove myself again in every aspect of my life. I was involved in many different areas at my old church and now I’m trying to figure exactly where I’m needed at my new church. I was a youth leader at my old church, but now I am having to prove to these new students that they can trust me, come to me, and basically get them to like me…which if you’ve ever met teenagers..that’s very difficult sometimes. I had my core group of friends in Denton and now I’m having to try and find new friends and find some way to convince them they should be friends with me. I am an extrovert and a people person, but this has been super hard for me because WHERE DO YOU EVEN GO TO MEET PEOPLE?! Lucky for me, being a blogger, I can use that to my advantage. I recently went at took pictures at a few of the unique places in Waxahachie (series coming soon!!) and so I was able to connect with some people there..but still, it’s hard. So, just know, it’s even hard for extroverts to make close friendships in a new place where they don’t have any means to making them. Another thing, I had found my grove in my old retail job, made friends, and pretty much had a sense of belonging there. Now, I’m in an internship that could potentially be what I do for the rest of my life (no pressure) and I’m having to learn how to navigate a job all over again. Not only that, but it’s a completely different kind of job than I’m used to. On top of all of this, I am learning how to prove to Brad that he made a good choice picking me (lol…not really, but I am learning how to be a good wife and make my husband proud to call me his own.)
So, as you can see, there is a lot going on in my life and in my head. I am a thinker and a worrier and it has come out more than ever during this season. I am pretty sure I have cried either before small group every Sunday or after small group for the past 3 weeks. I am a bit of an emotional mess, but like I mentioned in my previous blog, I have to remind myself this is for a purpose. We have to learn how to find purpose in our trials, difficult times, and challenges, because we serve a God who doesn’t waste those seasons. He will never waste a trail, difficult time, or challenge. That’s one of my favorite characteristics about God is that he uses every aspect of our lives to create this amazing story. Think about it, the year wouldn’t be the same without seasons. We look forward to summer after winter (I don’t, but most people do.) and we look forward to fall after summer. The year makes sense because of the change we experience in the seasons. Our story can only make sense if we experience change and luck for us, we have the Creator of the Universe to come alongside us through it all. I have been praying like a mad woman the past few weeks because I have been so emotional, exhausted, and it seems like I am always wanting chocolate (NO! I am not pregnant!) I have been praying that God would show me glimpses of the “why” behind this: why are we here, why now, why am I at this internship, etc. I have been seeking the wisdom and guidance only He can offer me in this time. It’s hard. I have good days and bad days. I have days I love being new and that everything is like an adventure. I have other days where I almost get homesick for comfortability.
The best part about being the new kid again is you get to create yourself again. You get to embrace the qualities you love about yourself and leave behind the ones you don’t. You get to tell your story the one you experienced it, not how everyone else wrote it. Take this time to really figure out who you are and who you want to be. Let this time be a time of focus on the Lord, your calling, figuring out your passions and talents, because there is no better time than now. It took me being thrown into the unknown to realize my true passion for writing, especially about my struggles and my real life for others to read and be encouraged from. I was already doing it on my story book length Instagram captions, but it took being uncomfortable to really notice it. Our uncomfortability allows us to see things we may have never noticed before. It shifts our vision and our focus.
“For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.”
Embrace the season of life you’re in, learn from it, grow from it, and take the time to be present in it. God knows what He’s doing and He has you in this season for a reason.
Always remember, you’re never alone.
Until next time,