“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.” ― Francis Bacon
Over the past few weeks my life has been full of certainty. I knew what my plans where and exactly when they were going to unfold. Over this past week/few days those certainties have become uncertainties, leaving me in a place of confusion and in desperation for answers.
I have really been learning how to be confident in what I hear from the Lord. I’ve learned how to truly open my ears and my heart to hear from Him. Not only have I learned to listen but I’ve learned how to follow. I have learned to be obedient. But in learning to be obedient I am now having to learn that plans can change. Yes, I was obedient, but now what will my reaction be to those plans changing. He is obviously trying to teach me something. I need to open myself up to learn. What will my reaction be when the plans that I thought I had change?
I am a planner. I have a planner that is full of every little thing on my schedule from assignments to hangouts. I like to know what’s going on and I like to know it ahead of time. I enjoy being ahead of the game. In this situation I am not in control. I can’t be ahead of the game. I was. I knew what I was doing. I knew what my next few steps would be. But in an instant those certainties were taken out from under me. I had a moment of panic. Then a moment of frustration. Which lead to a moment of confusion. Uncertainty. Why?
“Why?” is such a simple question that goes through my mind more often than I’d like to admit. In this case the question is, why has God brought me so close to something I’ve longed for and then taken it away? I felt like a cat being tormented with a toy. The owner puts the toy in front of the cats face. Then when the cat is ready to catch it…the owner pulls it away. In that moment that is how I felt. I felt as if God was dangling everything I ever wanted in front of my face and then He took it away right as I was ready to grab hold.
Often we get stuck at the why instead of using the question to provoke us to seek His answers, promises, and greater plan. I have now learned obedience, which is such an important skill. But have I learned how to truly trust God with my plans? Maybe not as much. I truly believe God is trying to teach me how to be content in the uncertainty. I’m not always going to have the answers right away. I’m not always going to know what plans are ahead of me. But I am always going to have the Lord and He always has a plan for my life. He knows better than me what I need. That doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy. That doesn’t mean that a new door will open up immediately. That is not to say that I’m not totally confused. That doesn’t even mean that I will ever get an answer. I have to trust that God has my best intentions in mind. He knows me and He knows my desires. He has brought me through many seasons where I had no idea why but later down the road it all made sense. There is something certain about uncertainty. Let the uncertainties in your life provoke you to really seek out the Lord and use this confusion to really trust in Him. “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7
I challenge you to embrace the uncertainty. Be certain in your uncertainty.